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The 5 languages of appreciation in the workplace - Book Review

The 5 languages of appreciation in the workplace: Empowering organizations by encouraging people

Chapman, G., & White, P. (2019). Northfield Publishing.

You appreciate your employees, right? But do they feel appreciated by you? 

The 5 languages of appreciation in the workplace is written by the author of The 5 Love Languages, Gary Chapman, and Paul White, a psychologist, author, speaker and consultant. Together they have adapted the 5 love languages model into 5 appreciation languages to help empower organisations and their people. 

In 2009 Chapman and White started researching how the 5 love languages might apply to the workplace, looking at work-based relationships and focusing on appreciation. The concept of appreciation is key to creating positive workplace environments, by understanding how each employee can feel appreciated. Appreciation in the workplace communicates a sense of value for the work someone has completed or the characteristics they show, therefore increasing employee engagement. 

Anyone can make a difference in the workplace regardless of their position, but do we know how to? The book describes how we can identify our own and others’ appreciation language, how to demonstrate authentic appreciation and make the appreciation we express personal to the individual.

The languages of appreciation are Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Tangible Gifts and Physical Touch. The book breaks down each of these  languages and has real-life work scenarios to illustrate each one, plus tips on  personalising each. The examples are a fantastic way to see how these can play out in the workplace, and also help recognise when the intention was there but it did not hit the mark. 

As someone who is aware of the concept of the 5 love languages, I was intrigued to see how these translated into appreciation languages, particularly for the workplace context. I found the concepts fascinating as they were professionally written and easily digestible. The examples with each appreciation language of how to make it personal to an employee or team member really opened my eyes to how we can easily misinterpret an employee's needs, or even our own.

There is a good focus on leadership, which is helpful for leaders or managers to reflect on if we are communicating and appreciating in the best way for our employees. The book discusses the miscommunication between managers and employees when it comes to appreciation. There are some useful tips on how to communicate in the same language and to help create deeper understanding of one another. Motivation by appreciation is a strong theme through the book. Knowing what makes your employees tick and understanding how to appreciate them in a way that will not seem tokenistic, but really hits the mark, can be challenging. This is a useful guide for having these conversations effectively. 

Other key points explored in this guide include the difference between appreciation and recognition, how to find your blind spot with your least valued language and how appreciation works in different settings. In this latest edition there is also a chapter on remote workers and virtual teams. 

This book is highly applicable, as communicating appreciation to your employees is a powerful tool for increasing employee engagement and creating a positive work environment. Meaningful conversations that makes us feel appreciated creates higher engagement and instils a sense of value in us as leaders, managers and employees.

Reviewed by Lucy Boomer, People & Organisational Development Manager, Mental Health Foundation

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RĀHINA | MONDAY

Reconnect with someone you care about / He hononga tangata, he hononga aroha

 

When life gets busy it’s easy to forget to check in with the people in our lives, butwe know connection is important for our wellbeing. Having a kōrero with others nurtures our relationships and helps us to feel happy, connected and secure.
Over time, these chats help us to understand each other better and ensure we have people we can count on when times are tough. Today we encourage you to reconnect with someone you care about. Whether it’s with whānau, friends, hoamahi/colleagues, iwi or community, a little chat can go a long way.

A few ideas for reconnecting:

  • Check in with whānau you haven’t spoken to in a while. Have a chat on the phone, send them a text or catch up kanohi ki te kanohi/face to face if you can. Ask them how they’re going and really listen.

  • Write a letter or email to your whānau sharing what you appreciate about them.
  • Look back through your photos and share a happy memory to reconnect with someone you’ve lost touch with.

  • Have a think about whether there is someone in your life who may be going through a tough time. Take time to kōrero and ask them how they are, empathise and listen. You can find more support for how to have a safe and supportive kōrero on page 16 of the Mental Health Awareness Week guide.

 

 

 

RĀTU | TUESDAY

Get outside in nature with someone / E puta ki te taiao

 

It’s often the little things that bring us joy. The singing birds, the grass beneath our feet, the wind on our faces. Kōrero doesn’t have to happen indoors. Today we encourage you to get outside in nature with someone else. Take a moment to chat about the things that support your wellbeing and appreciate the beauty around you. You might be surprised by what you notice!

A few ideas for connecting in nature:

  • Have your lunch outside with a friend or hoamahi/colleague, take notice of the
    nature around you. Even if you work outdoors, it’s great to take a break and
    spend some quailty time together outside of your work space.

  • Connect with the whenua; grab some mates and get into the great outdoors - go on a bush walk, walk up your local maunga, breathe in the salty fresh air of the moana. Take time to kōrero and get to know each other whilst you’re there.

  • Head down to your local beach with a friend or whānau member and pick up any rubbish you come across. It’s a great way to spend quality time together outside and keep Aotearoa beautiful! Check out the Department of Conservation
    website for more ideas.

  • Take tamariki on a nature walk and get them to point out the things they see, smell and hear. Ask them how being in nature makes them feel. Or, head to the school field, park or your backyard and have tamariki lie on the grass and do this tummy breathing Sleeping Statues activity from the Sparklers website.

  • Have a cuppa and a kōrero in the garden with your whānau, listen to the birds, be present and enjoy each other’s company. You might like to take off your shoes and feel the grass beneath your feet.

  • Go outdoors, snap a photo of some nature that catches your eye and send it to someone to brighten their day.

Tuesday

RĀAPA | WEDNESDAY

Have a kōrero about Te Whare Tapa Whā/ Tōku Whare Tapa Whā

 

Now that we’re halfway through MHAW, why not use this day to explore your wellbeing through Te Whare Tapa Whā and have a kōrero with someone else about what you learn? Consider the four pou and think about the different ways you can boost your wellbeing.

A few ideas for exploring Te Whare Tapa Whā:

  • Learn about Te Whare Tapa Whā and its four dimensions of wellbeing. Reflect on which areas you feel are going well for you right now and which ones you need to focus on for your hauora/wellbeing. Share your thoughts with someone else.
  • If you’re in an office or shared workspace, get hoamahi together and have each corner of the room represent one of the four dimensions of Te Whare Tapa Whā. Ask them to stand in the corner of the dimension they feel is strongest for them at the moment. They might like to then share why they chose this dimension with the group.
  • Print out and fold this Chatterbox to encourage tamariki to have a kōrero about their wellbeing using Te Whare Tapa Whā.
  • Add a song to our MHAWNZ playlist on Spotify. It might be a song you love to work out to for your tinana, that uplifts your wairua, soothes your hinengaro, or a whānau favourite that you sing along to in the car!

 

 

RĀPARE | THURSDAY

Connect through kindness / Takohatia ki tētahi

 

When we do something nice for someone else, be it a friend, colleague or stranger, not only does it make them feel good, it gives our wellbeing a boost in return. Whether it’s a big gesture or just a smile, everyone has a little act of kindness to offer. Think about someone who might need some extra support right now, because today is all about giving: our time, our kindness, our aroha, our kōrero, to others.

A few ideas for spreading kindness:

  • Send a kind message to someone in your life and let them know you’re thinking of them
  • Visit a friend, neighbour or family member who could do with some company or tautoko/support. If you’re unable to visit, give them a call.
  • Volunteer your time to others in need – join a community group, pick up someone’s groceries or simply drop off a hot meal to someone who could do with a helping hand – not only will it create a moment to kōrero, it will give you and them a feel-good boost.
  • Make a kaimahi a cup of tea or bring in some biscuits and create a moment to kōrero in the lunchroom – look for opportunities to put a smile on someone’s face
  • Introduce yourself to a new parent at your child’s school, new kaimahi at your workplace or a new neighbour in your community. Ask them if there’s anything you can do to help them settle in.

RĀMERE | FRIDAY

Come together and reflect / Noho tahi, kōrero tahi

 

Come together with others at school, work or home, or find a moment on your own to reflect on the week just gone. Be present and take time to kōrero about the things you’ve learnt, and the wellbeing tools you’re going to continue with. What little chats have you had this week? How does connecting with others and talking openly about wellbeing make you feel?

A few ideas for reflecting together:

  • Try switching off the TV for a night and play a game with your partner or tamariki instead. You could even make music together, or just talk.
  • Organise a virtual dinner date. Set a time to eat and jump on a video call with someone else. Share kai, reflect on your weeks and chat about how you’re going to keep up the kōrero.
  • Plan a whānau activity day - create a moment to kōrero about what makes each person feel good and plan an activity that focuses on each of those things. It could be getting out in nature for a walk, cooking a favourite meal, or video calling a relative overseas. 
  • Share kōrero and kai with your team at work. Everyone bring a plate and chat about the things that you do to look after your wellbeing. If you’re working from home, have lunch and chat together over Zoom. Afterwards, have kaimahi fill in the wellbeing action plan at the end of the Mental Health Awareness Week guide to help them stay mentally healthy at work.
  • For tamariki, end the week with this How Am I Doing? activity by Sparklers. It’ll encourage them to think about their wellbeing and all of the things they already do to care for it.