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Together: Loneliness, health and what happens when we find connection - Book Review

Together: Loneliness, health and what happens when we find connection 
 
Murthy, V. H. (2020). Wellcome Collection 

“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. You need one because you are human.” – Jane Howard 

Vivek Murthy’s 2020 book Together: Loneliness, Health and What Happens When We Find Connection provides a unique answer to the question of what health conditions we should be avoiding to stay healthy – and the answer is loneliness. Murthy discovered this while serving as the Surgeon General of the United States in 2014, and studied the phenomenon over the next few years, talking to doctors, scientists, communities and individuals to scope out the scale of the problem.  

After reading this book, I am convinced it IS a problem. Murthy did a great job of explaining clearly why loneliness is a dangerous condition that is often directly responsible for chronic illnesses, diseases and even death. Notable studies include one in 2010 that analysed 148 studies (including 300,000 participants), which showed that people with strong social relationships are 50% less likely to die prematurely than people with weak social relationships. Throughout the book Murthy discusses other quantitative and qualitative studies and encounters which show that people’s level of loneliness has significant impacts on their health outcomes in all different environments and cultures. If that wasn’t scary enough, Murthy also lays out how loneliness has evolved into a huge issue, as modern societies prioritise and value individuality and success at the expense of others. He also explains the unavoidable links between loneliness and gender, immigration, cultural differences and the rise of technology. 

However, most of this book is a positive read, full of examples of how people and communities have thrived once they have made small changes to their social or family lives. Dozens of stories of communities coming together to support each other, social groups filling gaps in people’s lives and pilot programmes to address loneliness in vulnerable communities leave you feeling very optimistic.  

Additionally, as the solution to a lot of problems appears to be simply reaching out to your friends and family, you can immediately action the recommendations in the book and feel satisfied that you are improving your physical and mental health.  

Overall, I would recommend this book as it provides the inspiration and tools to easily and immediately improve your quality of life. It also aligns extremely well with the health models promoted by the Mental Health Foundation, notably Te Whare Tapa Whā and the 5 Ways to Wellbeing frameworks. Since finishing this book, I have found myself reaching out to friends more often, and I have a deeper understanding and awareness of the structural issues that contribute to making people unwell. 

Review by Jenny Knight, MHF People and Organisational Development Coordinator 

Disclaimer: Please note these reviews are not intended as endorsements or recommendations from the Mental Health Foundation. This feature introduces resources that may be useful for individuals with an interest in mental health and wellbeing topics.

Monday

MONDAY

Start the week off with an act of kindness. On the first day of MHAW, take some time out of your day to help someone in a small but meaningful way. Even one simple thing, like carrying groceries or holding a door open for a stranger, can create a chain reaction of kindness that uplifts the whole community.

Ideas for how you can help someone today:

Tuesday

TUESDAY

It’s no secret that the pandemic, rising costs and extreme weather events have made things tough for our local businesses and organisations over the past few years. Today, we encourage you to tautoko/support an independent merchant or community organisation. Why not purchase a small gift for a friend from a local creator, or post about an awesome business or community group on social media? A little tautoko can go a long way in difficult times.

To support a small neighbourhood business or community organisation today, you could:

Wednesday

WEDNESDAY

We’ve made it to the middle of the week!

Feeling connected to others is strongly associated with better wellbeing, because it gives us a sense of meaning, safety, support and purpose. Give yourself — and your loved ones — a mid-week boost, by reaching out to a friend or whānau member you would like to catch up with.

You could connect with the important people in your life today, by:

Thursday

THURSDAY

As we move closer to the weekend, find some time in your day to connect with someone in your community that you don’t usually talk to. Introduce yourself to a neighbour, a parent at your child’s school, or someone at your local café . Building relationships with people who live in your community can create a supportive network, right at your doorstep. 

To get to know someone new in your community today, you could:

Friday

FRIDAY

What better way to finish off the week, than by saying thank you to someone in your community? Spread some good vibes by showing your gratitude today  it could be to the courier driver, to a local volunteer, or to a workmate or neighbour…anyone who helps make your community what it is. 

You could express gratitude to those in your community today, by: